Sunday, September 25, 2005

Flatpack: anytime / anywhere


Which screw
I don’t own a suit and so it’s become necessary to invest in a small chest of drawers to store all those t-shirts I accumulate. But was it a mistake to go to IKEA?

Now, there’s something very late modern about IKEA. You visit the place (by car, of course) and it could be anytime, as long as it’s before 10:00 pm, and anywhere – in this case it’s Nottingham - but the only way you know where you are on the map is the sign on the way out, which reminds you IKEA – NOTTINGHAM. You pick up one of a great many identical looking cardboard boxes, pay by plastic and then it’s all down to you.

It almost seems rude. It’s called Blunkt or Bunk, or something even worse. And when you open it up, it’s just a collection of bits of wood. It’s broken. And then it’s up to you, the ‘end-user’, to fix it. But, just as they say that wood fires give two kinds of warmth, so flatpack furniture gives two kinds of pleasure. One buying it; two putting it together (if you’re lucky). Failure at the second tends to cancel out the first.

Yay! I’ve done it. I may have a bit left over, but there’s absolutely no way that I’m going to join that incredibly long queue of return goods. They ought to pay me! Then, I spoke to Emma. You know what, she bought one the same somewhere near her. She put it together in 20 minutes, and advises me to stick with blogging. Which made me think that blogging is like flatpack internet publishing. They (Blogger, Typepad or whoever) give you all the stuff, including the baffling instructions - in other words you get the bits anytime anywhere, and then you put it all together. Yay! And don’t you just love it!

22 comments:

Clare said...

Guy, Guy, Guy... What is the mallet for? and what is that around your neck? Should it be connected to your ear? I don't ever plug my ears in to anything apart from earplugs when on an aeroplane.
I would like to see assembled Blunkett - and understand your frustrations with flatpack equivalents of blogging as I can't upload images anymore.

Joolz said...

You are not alone:

http://trois-tetes.blogspot.com/2005/02/lenfer-cest-les-autres.html

Guy Merchant said...

The mallet is for persuasion (sometimes necessary). As for the earphones - well I work on the premise that one should never be seen in public without an ipod.

Sorry to hear about your picture problems. Are you using Flickr (maybe there's a bug)? There's some useful help information on the Flickr site

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